Sleep.....fUTEile.

What can I say; its 1am & I'm sitting here wonderin' what to write.Had better days, that is for sure. Why is it when you are down, you get kicked in the guts even more? You start a bad day, & it flows on like a continuous river?! Perhaps I am too pessimistic,I seem to see the glass half empty,not half full.I see my life getting less enjoyable,than getting more pleasant.Instead of thinking of the benefits of friendship, I see the hurt & inconvenience it brings.I see the downside to every possible situation.I worry continuously about my day to day schedule,& if something unexpected occurs, it knocks me for a six.I am having trouble with the change in my lifestyle at the moment-hubby used to work for brooke skye,he was one of the LUCKY ones to get out before they go under.Now he is doing security work,and the hours and pay are VERY unpredictable,& the change has put me in self destruct mode.I cant handle the keeping quiet all day long while he sleeps,the tip toeing around,the "shhh,you'll wake him up" crap.He gets up as the sun goes down,he leaves,I go to bed(if I can sleep)in the morning he gets home, I get up.We barely speak to one another.Oh, and when we do,it's usually a shouting match.Still friends,but hey, friends dont always get on.He's started to change in himself too,smoking more weed everyday,where as it used to be the occasional cone on a weekend,not a cone 3 - 4 times a day.He spends money like it's going out of fashion, wastes it too....buys a crap car for more than it's worth,keeps it for couple of months(a month of that its in the mechanics)and sells it for less than half of what he paid for it!!Go fuckin' figure???Hmmm, is there such a thing as a mid life crises?Fuck, he's not that old yet.The raven riley smoking is fryin' his brain,I tell you - he is impossible to communicate with. On another note, am heading to the Quack's next Monday.Too many people have been "concerned" for my health,so betta sort it out before they send for the men in white coats..... Nothing a good break from here wouldn't cure. Ciao 4 now Amigo's......utegirl xxxx